New Year, Still Bipolar, Same Routine

    This is the time that we all hear the same things about the new year and all of the grand changes that people are going to make. I'm not here to call out public consciousness, so to make it personal, this has not and in my opinion, will not ever work for me. I have to admit that I have been guilty of this from time to time in the past. I remember being one of the many flies attracted to the bright lights of the gym in the doldrums of winter and endured anywhere between one and 3 workouts that first week... zero thereafter. 

    To go deeper into my own history teeming with broken promises; I could never recount them all, but they range from weekly assertions to quit drinking, reassuring friends and parents I'd keep in touch, and pretty much anything I could think of that would have been of benefit to me. They all failed; with the only true result being feelings of guilt, shame, worthlessness and hopelessness. I stopped trying.  It didn't work. 

    My only "resolution" heading in to the new year is to reflect on how all of the tiny changes I made the past year led to so many major improvements to my overall quality of life and the relationships with my loved ones and friends. The great thing leading in to the new year is knowing that I do not have to make any extreme changes in order to continue the progression of my stability, strength, and relationships.  

    This is not to say that I am content or resting on my laurels. I want to continue to write, continue to find new ways of making my body stronger, continue to reach out with old friends and family members that I used to be close to and continue to be stable in my life long promenade with bipolar in order to be the most supportive partner I can be. I will find more ways of getting involved in the mental health community. I will continue to challenge myself to be more open to how capable I am while living with bipolar. Why? These are the things that have built the burgeoning foundation on which I now stand. 

    I don't feel like I have to make any dramatic improvements in my life and that as long as I continue to educate myself, seek out answers to my questions and engage with the loving and caring members of my support team, new opportunities for improvement will arise organically.  This is the natural progression that led to my relative stability and confidence whether hypomanic, depressed or comfortably in the middle enjoying life. Small, but continual improvements led to mammoth enrichments for me. 

Thank you for reading and give your goals of gradual enhancements for life a chance!

Lee Formella



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